Watching the news roll in about the global pandemic was something I hadn’t experience since my childhood when there was the AIDS epidemic. I would know, my father died of that disease back then, and I hear all the media reports are saying this current global virus is going to be “much bigger” than that virus. Seems surreal.
All news stations in English, German, Italian, French… reporting the same thing—global pandemic.
Getting bored of just staying inside I go down the street to Pierre’s family who is in my “pod” which I guess is your small group of people you are willing to share germs (or immune systems?) with? Not sure.
Pierre and I are still not back together, although it’s a global pandemic so all of society is not dating right now.
So far, we do not know anyone who has caught this virus, a group of us decide to grab dinner together.
Bitter Balling
Sitting around the large white table with Pierre’s Swiss family, his father actually offers some semi decent advice. A retired banker, Dominik had seen his fair share of international sabotage. He chuckles as I explain my Derch shenanigans.
Dominik: Look. You have to chuckle; these people are trying to figure out how to outsmart you while playing catch up. It’s impossible.
You should start thinking of what you would do next and really, how to catch up your career since. Well. You know, the Derch were a detour.
His words hit heavy, he was right though. I needed to look forward not backwards.
What would that look like? And how does that even look during a… pandemic?
I thought long and hard about what he had to say. I looked over at Pierre as he chewed on some vegetables cutting them slowly and staring at his plate—he was tapped out and close to strangling Dominik and I. Everyone was feeling this mood lately with the lockdowns and being bundled up together so much so I took nothing of it.
Dominik: By the way, I’m getting bored. It’s been several months now and I was talking to some of my old coworkers and I might start going back into Zurich. Would be good to catch up with the boys and have someone to talk shop with besides Ella.
Me: Thanks, Dom.
Dominik: You’re great kiddo. The only one here who will talk numbers. Pandemic or not I need to be back with the boys or minimally golfing again. G-d willing.
I sip on my water repeating Dom’s advice. Thinking. Pondering. What would or should the future look like?
Had I ever thought that through or did I just like, jump right into Europe?
He Givith, He Takith Away
Months into the pandemic things were really coming to a halt. I checked my online numbers and product launch dashboards and all the numbers were unfortunately, low. My colleagues back in the US said everyone is working from home to the delight of friends who were typically frequent fliers, they are re-getting to know their own families. Meanwhile my Derch arrangement couldn’t be phasing out more gloriously—I am locked in another country from the office and no one there is going into offices either so I am thrilled to not be commuting.
Dominik had given me some great advice recently so in my free time I started a notepad to jot down my thoughts. My best idea seemed to head back to the U.S and see if I could work on my launch there since everyone was telecommuting themselves why not?
I send a text to Dominik asking him for feedback and on investment memo while watching the nighttime TV news. Normally Zurich doesn’t have much going on, one story caught my ear as the reporter explained in German “Virus outbreak in Bankers Group” I see as they explain nearly 200 people are infected with the new virus and 30 people in comas.
Apparently, all the bankers gathered at a lunch together last week and everyone is infected. I find the link online and send it to Pierre.
When I wake up in the morning I realize I have not heard from Pierre or his father Dominik for some time, which is out of character for both. I give the mom a call:
Me: Miriam, have you heard from Dominik or Pierre? I mean obviously Dominik right, you share a bed?
I fake chuckle while starting to have the hairs on the back of my neck standup telling me something is wrong. Miriam bursts into tears.
Miriam: Pierre couldn’t handle the stress of it all so he took his motorcycle and said he’s doing a road trip around the Alps. He turned off his phone.
She wails some more choking up the courage to report back on her husband…
Miriam: as for Dominik… (mumbling prayers in Swiss German)
Well…he’s…one… of the bankers! He’s infected AND he’s in a coma!
Immediately I grab my cell phone going back on text messages to figure out what date and when last, I communicated with Dominik. Sh*t, almost a week.
My mind spins as I realize Pierre is doing the exact thing he gets mad at me for doing which is running around from problems. Meanwhile his mom is missing a husband and a son at the worst time imaginable. Pierre himself can be selfish, maybe he’s not so perfect after all.
Then in a panic I look at the calendar again and see, in two weeks a very important date. It is the anniversary on the day, of when my own father died from the last global virus.
Taking a huge gulp of my own air I had to ask, because of the odds, if this would be… if it could be…if there was a possibility that Dominik would pass on my father’s death date. How do I prepare myself, what’s going to happen?
Me: Miriam, did the doctors say when he slipped into the coma and what would should expect?
Sniffling, Miriam tries to replay the various doctor conversations in her head.
Miriam “Well, I think four days ago and they to expect minimal a week because they need him out of his so his body doesn’t try to overfight it.
Maybe in a week or two we would know?
You could hear how broken she was inside and I regretting asking but it told me what I needed to know, its 11 days from the date my father died from a virus. Statistically this was looking probable.
Cabin Fever is Real
With Pierre missing somewhere in the Alps doing his own lone wolf thing on a motorcycle, Dominik in a coma, and my work nearly to a halt, there wasn’t much to do other than sit and wait.
I’d invented some exercises for around the house, painted some new pieces, brushed up my Spanish online. It was now month four of this global pandemic lockdown and I hadn’t so much as seen an airplane, even military aircraft in months, when I was used to several a day.
All of society was still in a weird version of reality and in two days marks the date my father died from a virus while my exes father lay in a coma in a Swiss hospital. Tick tock. The days were flying by and crawling at the same time. I couldn’t take the torture anymore. Why was G-d punishing me like this? Why was I stuck mentally and physically?
Miriam getting bored and helpless herself we started swapping meals so we could enjoy different foods since deliveries were backed up and took long times. I planted a Buddha and herb garden thinking when the pandemic might end and if Dominik was going to live or not.
I video conferenced with a colleague in New York
Coworker: you haven’t seen it?
Me: no, seen what? I’ve been playing pandemic in a garden
Coworker: there was a media article recently saying some really bad things about you
Me: wait, what?
Coworker: yeah. I just assumed you knew and didn’t want to be the 1000th person to message you
Me: no. no one said a word
Coworker: shit. Nevermind
Me: No! Send it to me!
My coworker pastes the link into the chat before signing off like a bat out of hell.
Mouth open I read page after page slamming me, with all the stuff I remembered seeing from Filbert’s chats with the Prince.
Could-not-f**king-believe-it. I was being “taken down” during a pandemic? Like… what.
Furious I opened a bottle of wine only to awake the next day fully clothed on my couch, TV stilly showing news reports.
Morning Sunshine
Wiping cookie crumbs from my face with old wine on the table, still in yesterday’s clothes, I sprint to the kitchen to see the artsy wall calendar: today is the day.
Today is the anniversary of my own fathers’ death and Pierre’s father was in a virus coma. Still. I tried not to weep, nothing has happened yet, Ella. I promised myself to treat it like a business day, to make it to 5pm. If Dominik hadn’t passed by 5pm then it wouldn’t count as my father’s date. Right? Right?
I was still getting messages about the American media hit piece but that was so low of priorities while locked in another country and people were dying from a mystery virus and there wasn’t much I could do anyhow.
The hours went by slow, I did as many routines and laundry as possible to distract myself. I sat on the balcony outside. Waiting. For. Something. When I heard a strange noise I hadn’t heard in months: the sound of an airplane.
I ran outside to see its flight path, and perhaps catch a glimpse of what airline was brave enough to fly during these times. I checked the underbelly of the plane and it was an American military aircraft on a flight route to Frankfurt loaded with supplies. They were likely going to also evac any Americans in Germany to get back to the states. This was a good sign, maybe even a sign from G-d? I jumped for joy as I called a pilot friend
“Is it true?! Are flights in Europe going to be opening back up soon, does this mean maybe I can fly back?”
My friend explained it was true and not so easy. Some flight paths were being ramped up, yet not for Americans and no flights to America. He said perhaps once things open up more I could fly to Mexico and then Mexico to the USA.
I leaped for joy that there was some movement on life. Some element velocity. Some hope when there had been none.
It had been so long since I heard good news I almost forget that it was 4:45pm on the anniversary of my father’s death when I got a phone call from Miriam, Pierre’s mom and the wife of Dominik who had been in a coma for two weeks.
Deep inside I felt that I was being punished for my happy dance, life was showing me to not be so petty. A man is at risk of dying and I’m here celebrating airline routes? Shame on me.
I clutched my hands together and said the deepest prayer I’ve ever said in my life asking for Dominik’s life to be spared. I promised I would be more present in life, be a good person and most importantly if for any reason this man wakes up from a coma on the day my father passed years before, I would promise to treat this man like a father for life.
Closing my eyes I click on the phone-call to hear the voice of Miriam
“He’s awake. He’s alive, a little disoriented which I guess is normal but he’s alive”
I dropped my iPhone to the floor and collapsed upon my knees so quickly I heard them thump before weeping uncontrollably. In disbelief, I looked up from hysterically crying to another weird noise outside—a second airplane!
The inside of my soul burst that day. Every prayer, thought and message to the heavens felt like it were in the air that day. I cried so hard my eyes burned as I rubbed my hands in my face jubilated with emotions and relief.
Turns out even bad things come to an end too.