Ep. 4 What Happens on Madison Ave...
Big Apple baby, center of the universe, how did this all start?
During venture capital night, before going on stage to present and while under pressure from limited partners, I was served an American lawsuit and given a veiled threat by a royal family member. Just another day here in Amsterdam.
The Derch are so inherently already mean that even when they try to be mean it comes across as charming to New Yorkers. Bing Bong.
After crushing the Amsterdam presentation, I uploaded the deck right away to Slideshare grabbing my bags and leaving the building while everyone partied and snacked on catered hors d'oeuvre.
A few kids wanted to pitch me so I gave them my email and headed to the airport to try and salvage my life back in Switzerland and figure out this whole European puzzle and where I fit in it. On complete muscle memory I go through the airport not remembering a thing until looking out my seat window to see the rain dripping off the side of the airplane as it geared up for the short flight.
With all major presentations done and no one to bother me I turned my devices off to take a big sign of breath and moment of reflection.
How did I get here, why was I in Nellerland after all?
Empire State of Mind
Life back in New York wasn’t perfect but I knew how to navigate it. Three years ago I was finishing two of my largest investments to date and feeling excited about my next steps until the Derch called. Actually it wasn’t even a call I just remember my assistant reaching out
Nancy: Ella…. Theres some country in Europe that would like to have a meeting with you
Me: really who? Probably Romania that would make
Nancy: Nellerland
Me: Nellerland?!
Nancy: Nellerland
Me: Why?
Nancy: They said something about your having worked in Europe and understanding venture capital for an asset class and something else. To be honest I handle your calendar not what you actually do so I can’t comment what they want but they seem nice and have asked to meet you and JD.
Me: JD too. Why?
Nancy: Apparently they would need his signoff too
Derchies on Madison Avenue
It was a spring morning as us Americans sat around a Scandinavian looking conference room table fit for the start of some wall street based thriller. With perfectly placed miniature small espresso cups, the room filled with the fragrance of freshly made espresso drinks.
Out of paranoia, none of the Americans would touch their coffees. One investor in his late 70s gleefully sipped on his drink while the Millennials and Gen Z’s looked at him like he was insane. Anyone under 60 was too afraid to touch a coffee for fear of being the next Jamal Kha$h0ggi—this was after all a government and diplomatic protected office.
The conference room air conditioning roared in the Madison Avenue, Manhattan office. Most offices were still using their heaters, not the Derch. This office was an ice box… or mortuary? The temperature had the icy-ness of an overnight flight and even though the business floor had an open layout everything was surprisingly silent as one or two persons walked around slowly holding coffees. A Small group of diplomats stared at a graph showing cost savings, basically throwing themselves at our American group. “what do you think? Could you build the same fund from Nellerland?”
I looked across at my board of advisors everyone with apathy, most still not touching their coffees. I think one LP thought it was a joke and he assured he would invest no matter what country I was in. As a group we collectively looked at each other knowing this situation was odd, while also recognizing it would be interesting. So that was it. I said yes, was handed a one page contract, signed it and it was done. I asked how long until I needed to be in Nellerlands
“Two Weeks, Ms. Taylor”
I gulped real real quick. I was speaking at a conference in Romania in a week which meant once I left my apartment in New York (in a couple days!!!) would be the last time since I would go to Nellerland from Romania. Wow. What.
My building and office were pre-assigned and selected for me which I found a relief. As if I would know any better. All of them looked the same and the one chosen for us was a business center across from all the major pension and banks offices in Den Herg, it was the most modern thing I had ever seen— everything was motion detected and scent controlled.
Fancy digital displays everywhere and lights and notifications from parking spots to empty bathroom stalls.
This building was like if IKEA had a baby with Porsche. Our monthly office rent would only be €1,000 a month the first two years? Back home you’d pay that in sidewalk cleaning costs, or a night clubbing with interns. The cost savings were apparent and probably the last thing to be transparent which I’ll find out later.
Getting Started
After getting the keys to our office suite in the business centre I walked around figuring out what my routine would be. Hundreds of business people coming and going from the centre flooded the elevators and escalators. I watched as the lobby smelled like Lavender and everyone was dressed impeccably perfect, yet, impeccably all the same. The men all wore blue pants, white or pink button shirts and light brown shoes. The women all wore dresses or black pants, and usually some type of heel despite most the women being taller than any country I’ve visited before.
I grabbed my freshly toasted croissant from the lobby for €1 and entered the fancy escalator to my floor before getting a fresh cappuccino @ 9am local time.
The quietness and sense of modernity gave a vibe to the office perfect for researching which is now what I needed to do. How hard could it be to research in these conditions? Piece of cake.
Swiss Delight
I stepped off the short flight from Nellerland to Switzerland to the smell of sweet country grass and the chemical mint smell of an overly cleaned airport. Ah. Home.
Pierre was there at the airport to chaperone me home on the train. He gave me a huge hug before grabbing the only two bags I brought back. While we were not together at the moment, it was soothing to see him and there wasn’t another person in the world I wanted to connect with at this time.
Pierre: So… learn anything new this week?
Me: You know, lets get into town first. Grab a bottle of bubbles and maybe sit down next to the Limmatqui. I have a story for you…
#zurich
#love
#commerce